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| Pablo Neruda | from Poetry Foundation |
Los Dictadores
por Pablo Neruda
Ha quedado un olor entre los cañaverales;
una mezcla de sangre y cuerpo, un penetrante
pétalo nauseabundo.
Entre los cocoteros las tumbas están llenas
de huesos demolidos, de estertores callados.
El delicado sátrapa conversa
con copas, cuellos y cordones de oro.
El pequeño palacio brilla como un reloj
y las rápidas risas enguantadas
atraviesan a veces los pasillos
y se reúnen a las voces muertas
y a las bocas azules frescamente enterradas.
El llanto está escondido como una planta
cuya semilla cae sin cesar sobre el suelo
y hace crecer sin luz sus grandes hojas ciegas.
El odio se ha formado escama a escama,
golpe a golpe, en el agua terrible del pantano,
con un hocico lleno de légamo y silencio.
The Dictators by Pablo Neruda (trans. unknown)
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An odor has remained among the sugarcane:
a mixture of blood and body, a penetrating
petal that brings nausea.
Between
the coconut palms the graves are full
of
ruined bones, of speechless death-rattles.
The delicate dictator is talking
with top hats, gold braid, and collars.
The
tiny palace gleams like a watch
and
the rapid laughs with gloves on
cross
the corridors at times
and
join the dead voices and the blue mouths freshly buried.
The weeping cannot be seen, like a plant
whose seeds fall endlessly on the earth,
whose large blind leaves grow even without light.
Hatred
has grown scale on scale,
blow
on blow, in the ghastly water of the swamp,
with
a snout full of ooze and silence.
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The
Dictators Pablo Neruda (trans., Ben Belitt)
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An odor stayed on in the canefields:
Carrion, blood, and nausea
Of harrowing petals.
Between
coconut palms lay the graves, in their stilled
Strangulation,
their festering surfeit of bones.
A finical satrap conversed
With wineglasses, collars, and piping.
In
the palace, all flashed like a clockdial.
The
gloved laugh redoubled, a moment
Spanning
the passageways, meeting
The
newly-killed voices and the buried blue mouths. Out of sight,
Lament was perpetual, and fell, like the plant and its pollen,
Forcing a lightless increase in the blinded, big leaves.
And
bludgeon by bludgeon on the terrible waters,
Scale
over scale in the bog,
The
snout filled with silence and slime
And
vendetta was born.
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First Section
In the left translation, the wording
seems to be more literal from the original Spanish text. In the right, there is
more of a metaphorical and artistic tone. For example, the use of the series
i.e. carrion, blood, and nausea is a
more direct yet sensuous description for the kind of harrowing the petals indicates.
The difference between the words harrowing
and penetrating is in the kind of
tone it tries to make the readers feel. In this case, harrowing is more indicative to the kind of odor which stayed in
the sugarcane field.
Second Section
The most striking difference in this
section is the way the translators refer to the bodies of, perhaps, the victims
of the dictatorship as implied in the poem. In the left translation, in this
instance, the graves are indicated as having full of ruined bones. This two-word phrasing is reminiscent of a situation
wherein the body is subjected to harsh, even violent, treatment to the point of
severe bodily mutilation or, worst, death. Furthermore, the phrase speechless death-rattles implies a living
creature, in this case a person, on the verge of death; indicative of someone
who is still holding on for dear life. In the left translation, the graves are
full of beaten, close-to-death people with only a few moments to live.
On the other hand, the right translation
is direct in indicating that the bodies are, indeed, strangled i.e. stilled strangulation. It is direct and
succinct. While it suggests that the bodies are, likewise, mutilated or
tortured, the usage of the word festering
is somehow more “dead” as compared to the left translation of speechless death-rattles. The word
“festering” perhaps implies a malignant sickness that can’t be cured, or worse,
a sickness that has already taken its toll on the infected person. It suggests
a more intense experience in such a way that in the left translation, the
bodies are only about to die. In the right translation, however, the bodies
have already died and are now in the late stages of decomposition and decay,
hence, festering.
Third Section
The third section is fairly one of the
easiest. In the left translation, the usage of the word delicate implies that the dictator
is in a place wherein any decision, action, or choice is accounted for. The
word delicate is used to state the
position of the dictator wherein the balance of power may tip in his favor – or
not – in an instant. The list of items: top
hats, gold braid, and collars are literal translations of the original,
Spanish poem. In this one, the left one feels more correct.
Fourth Section
In the fourth translation, the one on
the left poses a more “common” vibe to the setting i.e. the tiny palace. Because of the usage of the
word corridor, the palace the one
being described is like the same palace you would see in, say, Versailles or
London. While, on the other hand, the translation on the right is a bit cryptic
or “in the shadows.” Due to the words gloved
hands and passageways, we get a
sense of the kind of workings the one who resides in the palace: in the dark,
under the table, hidden from the world.
Fifth Section
The translation on the right for the
fifth section is a bit more vibrant in its wording. This can be seen in the words weeping and lament, in this case, the word weeping is reminiscent of someone
who is just crying from something very shallow or trivial. The lament on the other hand is indicative
of anguish and extreme sadness. One that highly reflects the victimized
reaction towards unjust dictatorship.
Sixth Section
In the translation on the left side, the
word usage is a bit more literal and plain-sounding. On the other hand, the one
on the right captures the message of the poem more. The wording of bludgeon and bludgeon feels like a
brutal endeavor which is closely linked to someone who commits, or is capable
of, murder – a trait not so surprising coming from a dictator. The most exemplary translation is the
one on the right. The emphasis on the overall intention of the author is
evident in the emphasis of the phrase and
vendetta was born.
Conclusion
The translation to the right captures
the message of the poem more than that of the literal and direct translation to
the left. Because of this invigorating tone and the usage of artistic license,
the translation to the right is more representative of the original Spanish
text.